List of the Day (Courtesy of Izzy, age 7)

Video Clip of the Day (Even if it is a year old)

A three-year-old boy reciting "Litany" by Billy Collins.

A Question I Never Imagined

"What's your favorite kind of ground-rule double?"

—W. (8 years old)

Top of the First

The Aesthetics of Gravity

Think of the pleasure boys take in falling,

the hours they devote to it: ko'd, shot

in the back, machine-gunned in the

gut; tackled, clotheslined, checked,

body-blocked, tripped; in slow motion

whenever possible; preferably

for an audience of friends or family;

dramatically, comically; into

pillows, hay, leaves, mud, snow—

any pile promising padding or a mess;

water, too: flips, splits, bellyflops,

can openers and cannonballs.

Some may argue that phylogeny

recapitulates ontogeny, that

they are reliving that initial fall

from grace themselves; others may

insist they somehow sense their

own mortality, and are preparing for

their future decline; but I am convinced—

watching my sons catapult and pirouette

through the invisible air, then replay

those all too brief moments of flight

again and again for friends—they are

enchanted by the aesthetics of gravity.

Icarus is their hero, not for his

Pyrrhic success or greedy heedlessness,

but for his most delightful failure.

—Dallas Crow

"The Aesthetics of Gravity" originally appeared in the Fall/Winter 2008 (Vol. 103, #3/4) issue of Poet Lore.

Sick and Awkward

One of the pleasures of teaching teenagers is that you get to keep up on current slang, or at least not fall behind as far as you would on your own as an old fart. This year’s two biggest slang terms are sick and awkward. Sick is an adjective that—not surprisingly—mean its opposite. It’s used almost entirely by guys, especially (at this institution) hockey players, in place of awesome or amazing. For example: That was a sick move! Or That was a totally sick move! Or Did you see the end of last night’s game? It was sick!

Awkward is used primarily by girls, which is fitting since it has more to do with social dynamics.

“I would never do that.”

“Why?”

“It would be so awkward. Can you imagine anything more awkward?”

It also has more complex connotations than sick. In fact, it seems to me, to signify a different and particular kind of social awareness. Sick feels like another version of cool or bad: one syllable terms that essentially mean good or really good. The prominence of the concern about awkwardness seems like something different and new. Obviously when I was a teenager there were awkward situations and moments, but we didn’t identify them in a such a clearly-defined category. Also, awkwardness can be uncomfortable or odd, and given those things it can often be quite funny. In fact, it seems to me to be the operating mode of the most popular comedy out there these days. The humor of The Office is built almost entirely around discomfort—our own and that of the characters—which is true as well of last summer’s hit movie, The Hangover.

I love to see the way people play with language, and make it fresh. I remember when my first son was born, and consciously not wanting to use the word cool around him too much. It seemed that everyone around me was using it for everything that was good or desirable. I felt like it put too much emphasis on what was cool and what wasn’t, and it also made people sound rather unintelligent when that was the only modifier that came out of their mouths. I wanted him to grow up with a greater range of descriptors at his disposal. In time, sick and awkward will either become passé or clichéd, but for now they feel fresh. Of course, as a middle-aged man I don’t actually use these terms. That would be awkward.

Sidewalk Manifesto

W's Heavy Rotation Playlist

(At Age 6 3/4)

• "Chain Gang" by Sam Cooke

• "African Night Flight" by David Bowie

• "Flash's Theme" by Queen

• "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath

• "Mr. Crowley" by Black Sabbath

• "Die With Honor" by Manowar

The Logic of Analogies

The hockey coach skates over to the bench, and tells his mites (6 and 7 year olds) that they are slapping the puck too much. He wants them to control it more. "The puck is a treasure," he tells them. It seems to me like the perfect way of being clear to this particular audience, but as soon as he skates away, one of his players says, "No, the goal is the treasure; the puck is the key."

I admit I may have been as proud of W. for making that comment as for scoring the first goal of the game.

Only in Minnesota

"23 degrees? That's not really warm, but it is pretty warm."

—W. (6 1/2 years old)

Tight!

This morning, W. (six years old) informed me that "Tight!" shows far more enthusiasm than "Cool!" or "Awesome!"

My Son Channels Yogi Berra

"If you're from Canada and you don't play hockey, you're probably not from Canada."

A Six-Year-Old Boy's Response to Hearing "Passionate Kisses" by Lucinda Williams

"I'm going to make up stories about hugs and kisses, only they're gonna be warrior hugs and kisses."

Thirteen-Year-Old Boys

Yesterday R. and his friend played 57 games of ping-pong!

Picture Book Review: A Day with Dad

If you’re a divorced dad with a young child you don’t get to see enough, A Day with Dad by Bo R. Holmberg (Candlewick Press) is a fine book for you and that child to share. It’s a simple story of a divorced dad’s day with his young son. Though the d-word never appears in the book, my 5 ½-year old had no problem identifying the situation. The book opens with Tim, the child, waiting with his mom on a train platform for his dad’s arrival. Father and son go to a movie, eat out, and spend some time in the library before they have to head their separate ways. Their mutual affection overrides the poignant but understated sense that they have to squeeze in as much as they can in too little time. It’s a tender book that honors those all-too-brief shared times, and for both child and parent mirrors that less-than-ideal situation we find ourselves in.

Star Wars Goes Green

W calls light sabers light savers.

Is There a Term for This?

The other day W had me befuddled when he proudly announced, "I break myself apart."

Moments later, R cleared things up for me when he corrected him: "You mean you crack yourself up."

Is there a term for this? When you use the wrong word, it's a malapropism. There ought to be a name for getting an idiom wrong. I'm open to suggestions.

Neologism

W's term for cursive: fast-writing letters. Even the phrase seems to have its own momentum, like a self-propelled lawn mower, the letters almost writing themselves.

Its Reputation Precedes It

The other day I was messing around with W., and I called him a son-of-a-gun. It's something my dad used to call me when I was around that age (5), and until this moment it had never dawned on me to wonder where that particular phrase comes from. I remember a country song that says, "My daddy was a pistol, and I'm a son-of-a-gun," but I'm pretty confident the phrase precedes that. In any case, W. adamantly denied that he was a son-of-a-gun, but then he suddenly and fluidly shifted gears. "Speaking of guns," he said, "I want to go to Texas."

Overheard from the Back Seat

"Wouldn't it be fun if we could take our heads off and go bowling with them?"